GUEST RULE at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale, yes you heard right, a new f***ing rule!

Less than two weeks after the ludicrous SMOKING RULE, the Coral Point Fort Lauderdale Condo Association introduces an equally abusive and mostly unnecessary GUEST RULE.

If this trend goes on, Coral Point Condo, a building of merely 23 units, maybe 50 residents at most, probably less considering the seemingly growing number of empty units, will soon have more rules and regulations than residents.

Located 1400 NE 54th Street in Fort Lauderdale, FL 33334 Coral Point Condo is a place where you can no longer welcome friends and family without previously filling up a guest application form, and do not expect them to be able to stay that long, maximum fourteen days over a ninety days period.

Details of the GUEST RULE at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale

Sure 14 days over a 90 days period seems an already-long-enough time period for your mother-in-law to be staying over. But for out-of-town guests, our friends, our family members who may want to visit us in sunny Florida, two weeks will now be the limit and we guess the Condo Association will take them back to the airport after 14 days, hopefully not in cattle freight wagons, as it would really be of bad taste.  

While such a rule may find justification in a very large complex of several hundred units, where amenities may be threatened by overcrowding, really we find that at Coral Point Condo, a rather small building of two dozens units, this risk is non existent.

Besides the ludicrous $100/day fine mentioned in point h., a particular point deserves attention:

f. Guests may not use the pool or pool area unless accompanied by the Unit Owner or approved Tenant of the Unit.

So according to point f. you are supposed to babysit your guest(s) at the pool. Say your 49-year-old sister and brother-in-law come to visit because, you know, they were begging to come over have a good time in North Korea, sorry Florida. "Well Sis, it's just like the dog, you need to wait for my return from work [you know gotta work to pay mortgage / HOAs / rent / potential fines by Coral Point Condo Association] before going to take a dip in the pool, that's the way it is here at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale." This is plain insane! Maybe for kids and teens under 16 this could be justified, but for ALL guests, you got to be kidding. Maybe in a HUGE complex of hundreds of units where some people might take advantage of the anonymity offered by the crowd to misbehave, but again here we are talking about a condo of 23 units with at least 25% of them being unoccupied most of the time.

To think we would need such drastic rules for such a small condo is the perfect illustration of the condo fascism we denounce in this blog. Whoever is writing this crap, and this has to be some or all of those in charge here at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale, you are wasting your talent in our little building and should be running the show at camp 22 of the Hoeryong concentration camp in North Korea, see here Wikipedia page.  

With numerous empty units (at time of publishing we can think of at least five units: 103, 106, 107, 204 and 208 and maybe more) and a staggering increase in ludicrous rules and regulations on an almost weekly basis, we believe the Coral Point Fort Lauderdale Condo Association will soon have to worry more about counting its residents rather than occasional guests.

As usual we encourage you to voice your opinion in the comments section below. Do you find this sudden and unexpected GUEST RULE at Coral Point Condo necessary? Do you agree with the Coral Point Association that 14 days is a long-enough-period for our friends and family members to be staying over?

Coral Point Fort Lauderdale Condo under lock down!

So after parking stickers, new rules notifications, no smoking wall signs, it is now the turn of locks to be popping out left and right around Coral Point Condo.

"Just like in a fucking jail?!" WHO SAID THAT?? Make yourself known, or the whole cell block will be punished!

Basically you can no longer go around your own property as combination padlocks have been, in a very sneaky manner, put on the access fence doors to the back of the Coral Point Condo located 1400 NE 54th Street in Fort Lauderdale Florida 33334.

Combination padlock preventing access to the back of our building.

The back of the Coral Point building, now a restricted area. 

You can no longer access the back of the building, probably under the usual argument of safety, and we can think of many reasons why this is again, just like the SMOKING RULE, an absurd idea, and moreover a potentially dangerous one.

Let's ponder over some cases illustrating why we believe locked fences on each side of our building, unilaterally preventing us from accessing the back area is in fact a bad idea:

1) Let's say one day you are doing some cleaning, shaking a small rug or dust cloth outside your bedroom window [we know, we know not very chic but hey this is still a very middle-class building and we are not fucking robots just yet] say that rug or cloth slips through your fingers, how the hell are you supposed to go pick it up? Are you supposed to fill up an application in order to access the back of your own building? Are "Coral Point Condo Back Access Application Forms" being printed as we speak?

No big deal you are saying. OK let's heat things up.

2) Let's say you are a burglar and you are scouting buildings for a potential break-in. Don't know if you are aware but burglaries statistics in Fort Lauderdale are staggering. See here for City-data stats. Don't you think as a burglar you could work really at ease knowing you have behind you a small canal with large thick trees bordering the opposite bank, and locked fences on each side of you guaranteeing no one will randomly come to bother you or surprise you. Just like the infamous SMOKING RULE, this is a magnet for trouble.

Now for a really scary one. You know we like those if you have read our theory on the fire hazard induced by the SMOKING RULE.

3) Let's say your seven years old son makes his way to the back of the building. He will find a way for sure, just like the burglars mentioned above, he will climb over the fence or squeeze himself through a broken fence board. Who knows? Bottom line that 7 y/o kid is more agile than us adults, plus he will be extra motivated by the locked fence latch as kids are usually curious and thrilled by restricted areas. Say you suddenly hear him screaming as he fell into the canal. Don't you think by the time you find a way to make it through this now locked fence, your son has more chances than ever to die drowning?

Sure some will argue that a locked fence main purpose is to prevent such freak accident, but we believe free access to the back is actually safer as illustrated by the kid incident described above. And God forbid if such freak incident were to occur, and that you'd be prevented to save your kid or your neighbor's kid only because some control freak enjoys buying combination padlocks at Home Depot and sticking them on fences, the question to ask would not be "Oh God why oh why this happened to us?" but "Who the fuck do we sue?" We suggest members of the Board particularly its President or SunEmerge the condo management company who allows all of these absurd measures to be taken now seemingly on a weekly basis.

If kids want to fall in the canal, don't you think standing on the wood bench that surrounds the pool area will do the trick? Here is an idea for Coral Point condo nazi, since he seems so concerned with our safety and the safety of our kids: what about spending 20 grands of our hard earned money (HOAs) to get rid of the bench around the pool area and build a 7 foot wall in its place?

Proposed location for a 7 foot wall around the pool area.

"Yeah and with some fucking barb wires on top of it that'd be perfect!" WHO SAID THAT?? Make yourself known, or the whole cell block will be punished!

Damn! We should probably not give them any ideas ...

What do you think? Do you like the idea of the locked fence and your free access to the back of the building being revoked?

Why this blog matters to all residents and owners at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale?

Don't you think the editors of this blog have better things to do than writing about such petty things as an abusive guest rule, a ludicrous smoking rule, a fine committee, etc? Only a time comes when enough is enough. And when things keep getting worse, actions need to be taken.

The best actions against fascists and other control freaks of all kind, are publicity and communication between people. This is what they fear the most and usually crawl back very quickly into the dark hole where they came from.

Noticed how these ludicrous rules, notices, stickers, combination padlocks etc have been popping up seemingly out of nowhere? Has anyone introduced himself to you as the new ruler of these grounds?

Believe us it will only get worse unless we unite and we start letting our voice been heard in person or on this blog.

We are Americans. This is the 21st century. We all work hard and have real tremendous concerns on our minds as far as increasing costs of living, health issues, stress at work, troubling social, political and environmental issues, the future of our kids and many more.

Our home is our shelter, and for most of us the last place we can truly relax. The last thing we need is for some condo nazi to be busting our balls!

And please don't fall for the typical and hypocritical "We are only concerned with improving the building."

The ruler of Nazi Germany, whose name we don't even want to write here, too promised Germans to improve their lives in 1933.

This is how he left Germany in 1945 after so called improvements:

Hamburg, Germany 1945

Maybe if Germans had accessed to the internet in the 1930s they would not have so easily let their lives in the hands of a power hungry control freak psychotic.

And while of course consequences here at Coral Point Condominium Fort Lauderdale located 1400 NE 54th Street in Fort Lauderdale Florida 33334 could never be so dire, we urge all residents to start paying attention to the concerning new trend of ludicrous rules in the building and start voicing their concerns and opinions.

Share this site with as many people as possible. If you are a tenant here, warn your landlord. If you own here, worry of the consequences for the value of your condo as overblown and ludicrous rules and regulations often have detrimental effects.

Do not forget this site is published and visible to the whole wide world. It is indexed by Google as we speak. Just Google "coral point condo fort lauderdale" if you don't believe us. Future buyers, future renters, realtors, anybody can stumble upon this blog on Google. What do you think the consequences of such reputation going to do to the building attractiveness?

And wait until some Sun-Sentinel or Miami Herald journalist writing a piece on Florida condo management craziness and the condo nazi phenomenon, as it is being more and more publicized, finds this site... Coral Point Condominium Fort Lauderdale condo nazi, do you want to be famous? This is your time to shine. We see a late show featured appearance in your future soon. You can tell Conan O'Brien and the whole country about your SMOKING RULE and how people are prohibited to smoke on the roof tops of the building (LOL.)

Our goals in a nutshell are to protect the current and future residents of Coral Point Condominium Fort Lauderdale against the new condo fascist(s) in its walls and to demand the Condo Management, Board members and especially its President to back the fuck off!

SMOKING RULE: ludicrous and dangerous.

Did you know smoking on the roof tops of the Coral Point condo located at 1400 NE 54th Street in Fort Lauderdale, FL 33334 is absolutely forbidden? We are not kidding and if you are not aware then you have not read the very precise, very descriptive, very authoritarian, and very ridiculous if you ask us, "SMOKING RULE" announcement posted on the information board on top of the mailboxes.

For reference, and a good laugh, please find it below:

Smoking rule notice: overblown, pretentious and laughable.

We don't know about you but we particularly enjoy the thorough description of what constitutes smoking in the second paragraph. It's priceless :) And which one of you goes have a smoke on the roof tops?!? You guys at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale are really out of control!

Seriously now. While we acknowledge the inconvenience of [some not all] smokers leaving cigarettes butts behind them, we find this total prohibition of smoking on all common grounds excessive, abusive and potentially dangerous (more on that later.) Anyway have you seen many cigarette butts on the grounds? Maybe a couple by the pool but really not that many ... Tell us in the comments, maybe we have been blind. As for the idea that people smoking outside may cause "secondhand smoke to drift into indoor common areas, exclusive use areas or individual units" c'mon are you freaking kidding? Whoever wrote this needs to get a life. Tip: if one day someone smokes outside your window, causing smoke to drift in and bother you, well guess what, you go outside and nicely ask that person to please go finish that cigarette a little further. What have we become in the US? Is a country where systematic regulation predominating over human interaction a place where you want to live?

So what do we have? Some cigarette butts. An overblown risk of drifting smoke causing secondhand smoking? Does this justify total prohibition? Again voice your opinion down in the comments. Isn't it a bit excessive, like getting a flamethrower to kill a fly?

Now to finish with our tirade, we see a potential danger to prohibiting smokers to go outside their door, on the parking lot, at the pool or even on the roof tops (LOL). Actually we see two dangers.

1) talking about secondhand smoking, we believe this excessive rule will have for consequence for some of us in the building to suffer more than ever from secondhand smoking. Surely there is a smoker in this building who has kids, a spouse, even pets. Whoever wrote this ludicrous SMOKING RULE, have you thought of them? Have you thought of the fact that by preventing their dad, mum, spouse or friend to go outside for having a cigarette you are exposing them to a LOT of secondhand smoking?! No you have not, probably because you were too busy masturbating over the oh-so-precise and pseudo legal wording of your announcement.

2) now for real danger, what about the building going off in flames, destroying our properties, killing some if not all of us, only because someone will fall asleep laying in bed with his cigarette lighted or drop it in a garbage can full of papers ... Let's face it, smokers can't help but getting their dose of nicotine as much as fascists can't help writing rules and regulations. They will smoke no matter what. And we don't know about you but we would much rather see people being encouraged to smoke outside instead of inside the unit under or above us. Makes sense or are we being over dramatic here? Shit happens and this SMOKING RULE is just a magnet for accidents waiting to happen,

Therefore we think this SMOKING RULE should be revoked or at the very least heavily revised. If you ask us we feel smoking should be prohibited around the pool area period. And also on the roof tops if it makes condo nazi happy - sorry we can't get over it :)

What do you think?

After the prohibition of smoking, will sodomy soon be prohibited at Coral Point Condo?

Some residents after seeing their right for smoking outside unilaterally revoked have expressed concerns over their right for sodomy at Coral Point Condominium located 1400 NE 54th Street Fort Lauderdale Florida 33334.

First of all let us please define sodomy. For this, we will take model, and modestly try to emulate, the excellent definition of smoking as given in the SMOKING RULE posted on March 11, 2015 by our ruler(s), and which we include copy below:

"Smoking shall include the inhaling, exhaling, breathing, carrying, or possession of any lighted cigarette, cigar, pipe, mechanical or electronic cigarette or other product containing any amount of tobacco or other heated or lighted product or vapor."

Truly this is divine and the best description one can ever imagine of what smoking constitutes.

Now going back to the issue at hands, the potential prohibition of sodomy at Coral Point Condominium Fort Lauderdale.

We hereby states that:

Sodomy shall include the introducing of an erect penis or phallus-like-object, the boning, the sexual intercoursing, or penetrating of any dilated anus, butt or buttocks or other orifice pertaining to a man or a woman or a cat or a dog or any other animal.

Example of an act of sodomy

We don't know about you but we are pretty satisfied with our definition of what constitutes sodomy although of course we do not expect doing nearly as well a writing job as the definition of smoking mentioned above.

As for the possibility of seeing sodomy being prohibited at Coral Point Condo, no word has been given yet by the Condo Association. We have attempted to contact Mr. Doug Sterner, President, Director of the Coral Point Fort Lauderdale Condominium Association in hope of obtaining confirmation whether sodomy will remain allowed or soon be prohibited but we have yet to obtain a definite answer.

No doubt the question of sodomy at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale will soon be the object of a detailed notice on the information bulletin board, reassuring everybody in the building on what can or cannot be done between consenting adults within these walls.

Who the f*** put a sticker on my car?

You could be asking yourself this question very soon. Or, even more embarrassing, one of your guest may soon ask you that very same question after walking back to his car.

We first noticed towing warning papers sticked to car windshields a couple of weeks ago. They looked like this:

One thing you cannot deny fascists is their constant efforts to improve and this is why the towing warnings papers were quickly upgraded to pretty yellow stickers: -see EDIT further down-

Whoever had the guts to put these stickers on that car driver window must have been runnning a TWO FOR ONE SPECIAL on that week because the car got two stickers: one for "No ID Sticker" -what ID sticker by the way?- and another for "Backed in" - yeah because it is such a big deal to park backed in you deserve a sticker.

Trust us these stickers are a bitch to remove. And even when you remove them you can never completely remove the goo they put on your windows.

Now who the fuck think it is OK to damage our cars and our guests' cars that way? Can you imagine explaining to a friend or guest finding his (her) car with one or several stickers (see photos above), well this is the way it is done at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale. HOW EMBARRASSING?

EDIT: it seems we have made a mistake assuming these yellow stickers were put on that car here at Coral Point. If you look carefully, which we should have done earlier ourselves, you will see the stickers are from another condo, the Imperial Point Colonnades, which is located 2156 NE 67th St, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33308. Talking about drastic condo rules, Imperial Point Colonnades have nothing to envy to anyone, but at least it is a 552 unit complex (23 buildings), so 24 times bigger in size than Coral Point, and with outstanding amenities.

Nevertheless we feel our point about annoying parking stickers is still valid as we certainly don't want to see those used here (a note left under the wipers works) and therefore this post stands. 

You wanna talk about parking? What about the recent parking resurfacing fiasco? It was supposed to start on a tuesday and be finished at the end of the week. It lasted for almost two weeks. And while again very authoritarian and overblown notices (two side by side if you remember) were posted before the start of the project, no one bothered to post any update during the course of the project, no apology for the inconvenience of this painful project dragging on for two weeks. People were left guessing and it was shocking how zero accomodation or communication was done as to help people find a way to park especially in the evening coming back from work.

Instead of writing ludicrous rules and going around gluing stickers on car windows taping notifications on people's windshield, we ask the condo management, the Board or whatever nutcase gave himself the mission of busting our balls: don't you think your time would have been better spent orchestrating the parking accomodations during this difficult time?!

How do you like this type of parking warning stickers to be used at Coral Point Condominium Fort Lauderdale? What do you think of the way the parking resurfacing project was handled?

A fine committee at Coral Point Fort Lauderdale soon?

You're coming back home from a long day at work and have luckily avoided parking tickets, speeding tickets and all kinds of other tickets and fines.

Well you are not home safe yet -pun intended- you could soon find yourself fined right here at Coral Point Condo.

As stated in the minutes of the December 10, 2014 Coral Point Fort Lauderdale Condominium Association meeting:

"4. Fine Committee, The Board will establish a Fine Committee. Melissa and Fernando were named as candidates. Doug will be speaking to them."

Considering the fact that minute 1. of that same meeting was the SMOKING RULE you can bet somebody is working hard on the creation of this fine committee and that the printer is warming up and ready to burst out a FINE COMMITTEE announcement as soon as jerking off over the exact wording will be done.

At this point we have only a couple of questions to ask Doug, Melissa, Fernando and whoever is looking forward to a fine committee at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale.

Will the enforcers be wearing a uniform when they issue a fine?

How will it look like? We suggest something like that:

You guys at Coral Point Condo Association are going to look sharp!

Seriously, considering the recent trend in the management style at Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale are you looking forward to the establishment of a fine committee in our building?

As usual we welcome your comments.

Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale Request Board

Don't you think we residents of Coral Point Condo in Fort Lauderdale deserve a Request Board where residents could post suggestions, tips, offers, invites etc?

We do have a large cork bulletin board located over the mail boxes. Try putting something there. It won't stay long as it seems condo nazi is selfish and not willing to share its audience. He should not worry as it would be hard to beat his ridiculously pretentious prose. If you have not done so yet, please read the SMOKING RULE posted on March 11, 2015 for an idea of what we are talking about and to understand what kind of messages this cork bulletin board is reserved for.

Coral Point Condo Fort Lauderdale virtual request board. 

Never forget that in the US the 1st Amendment to the Constitution guarantees you the freedom of speech whether you exercise this right on a scratch piece of paper pinned to a cork board or online.

Please feel free to use the comment section of this post to publish offers or requests. We encourage you here to focus on positive things. Maybe do you wish to offer guitar lessons or need to borrow a drill or look for a sport buddy. Just keep it PG13 please :)

This would be a good place to do so until one day maybe we have a real physical Request Board.

As a reminder, comments on this blog are moderated. Personal insults, threats to named individuals or discriminatory statements will not be tolerated.